5 years and counting...

Its been roughly 5 years since I left the JWs, and every year I find something about me that is still influenced or directly related to my 19+/- years believing the JWs.

For the first year or so I would defend the JWs even though I could not believe in their bullshit. Thats a symptom of leaving a cult, right? It took 2-3 years to actually break myself from defending the JWs in some way. I realized that all through high school I believed that I did not need to go to college, and I believed that until we had our first child. I realized that my view on going to college was because of the bOrg's brainwashing bullshit.

Up until this year I thought that politics and voting was useless and I wanted no part of it. Sometimes I would catch myself, when I would think of voting, using similar arguments that I would use when I was associated with the JWs. I try to constantly search for truth on any topic. This search has made me realize that part of my choice to stay neutral with politics and to not vote is influenced by the crap I was told growing up. This search also made me realize that I have strong viewpoints when it comes to politics. This year I realized that if I don't vote then I am not sticking up for my political views.

Wisconsin primaries are going to be next month and I decided to start researching the candidates and the issues. I want to be ready for November. This will be the first year that I will vote in any election. I want to be ready and make sure that my vote is well researched and based on what the candidates' view on the issues are and what they plan to do. I know a lot of people who do not actually research every candidate in the election, and instead vote based on the party that they are affiliated with or what their friends have told them. I know people who vote based solely on media coverage, here in Wisconsin its mostly based on what Fox News or conservative talk radio has told them. I want to hear it (or read it) from the candidates themselves and I will be my own interpreter of what their viewpoints are.

I have also decided that any candidate that uses their personal religious beliefs in their political campaign, or any that I feel (based on thorough research) will use their personal beliefs while in office, I will not vote for. I believe what our founding fathers believed about the separation of church and state. The first amendment to the constitution includes, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..."

I believe that everyone has the right to exercise their religion but I also believe that religious beliefs have no place in government.

Sorry if I went off my main point a little. I am just really excited to vote this year and prove to myself that the bOrg does not have a hold on my life anymore. I love new experiences and I love learning. Damn I'm in a great mood

It has been a while

I decided to start this blog so I would have a place to write down my thoughts. At the time I was going through some issues and I was thinking a lot. Soon those issues went away and I got laid off from work. I have been laid off for almost 3 months now and I realized that I wasn't thinking about things like I used to. When I was researching about religion and about the bible I was really happy. I was learning new information. I have realized that since I got laid off I feel more blah about issues. I am still happy I just haven't been getting that feeling that I would get when I would research things. I love to learn. I love being an Atheist. I love not being brainwashed by a religion and not living in fear of what my actions will bring. I read the God Delusion by Richard Dawkins twice and now I am reading it for the third time. When I read books like that, they get me thinking again. They get me in the mood to find truth. So I will try and update this more.

My relationship with my wife is ten times better than when she found out that I am an Atheist. One of our closest friends is very religious, my wife goes to the same church as him. When he comes over, or when we talk to him on the phone, often times they will get on a religious topic. My views are extremely different than thiers. I usually just keep my mouth shut and go into another room since I do not like confrontation and I don't like debate. I also keep quiet since I don't want to put any strain on my marraige. Our friend even brings up topics when he talks to me. I usually dissagree but I don't speak up. I am still insecure with what I believe. I feel though that if the topic is brought up then my opinion should matter. I should be able to speak up and defend what I believe. This is very hard since I have a hard time remembering things and expressing myself. I need to work on this. I know how to back up what I beleive but I have a hard time doing it. Maybe if I keep up with this blog I will be able to.

Yo yo yo, ya ya ya. Introduction time...

So I decided to start a blog. There are many things that go through my head that I need to get out. I think this will be the best way to do that. First a little about me.

I was born into a Jehovah's Witness family. For 19 years I associated myself with the Jehovah's Witnesses. I was never baptized so I couldn't really call myself a JW. When I was 17 I started to study with a JW so I could get baptized. I had many doubts but I kept them private. After I graduated high school I moved away from home. I had a hard time staying in that religion. My doubts started eating at me. So I decided to stop attending meetings and decided to do my own thing. When I was 19 I moved back home. At 20 years old I got married and had a kid. Now at 23 I have two sons, one is almost 3 and the other is 5 months old. About 6 months ago or maybe even earlier I found this site: http://xjwnet.ning.com/. This site helped me with my research on the bible and my doubts about God. Now I am an atheist. Until recently I was very private about it. My wife is a christian and sometimes we get into very heated debates. I have decided to be open about being an atheist. I am very proud of it. This blog may not be all about being an atheist but I will write about it. This whole blog thing is new to me so bear with me. It will be a fun experience for me.